I'm Heavy Duty!

This one is for my beautiful wife Mary who loves musicals, especially the Sound of Music.

I am not a particularly big fan of Garbage, but I am a James Bond lunatic. I have every single legitimate Bond movie made, along with some not-so-legitimate 007 flicks. In addition to the movies I have an odd assortment of Bond music from every relevant decade. So, I was happy to get this CD single “The World Is Not Enough” (1999) from a coworker at the time, Mona Sharma. I used to have a real turntable on my desk along with a “now playing” sign, just like in the record stores from the good ol’ days. For a while, I sat next to Mona. I asked her once what kind of music she liked and she replied that she really only listened to soundtracks. I thought that was funny at the time, in a cool non-conformist way, but in the years since that conversation I have been collecting more and more soundtracks and film scores. Mona was on to something.

As far as Bond movie themes go this one by Garbage is pretty solid. This is a promo that includes the original version along with the “Chilled Out Remix.” To be honest, after several listens I can’t tell them apart. Both are chilled out, and good.

There’s just something about the early 1960s high society aesthetic, at least how it’s portrayed in movies of the time, that speaks to me. Modern, hip, glamorous and sleek, it’s a big part of the fun of watching The Pink Panther, early James Bond flicks, and other films from this time. A few years later, things started getting weird, heavy and psychedelic in movies and music. Not that there isn’t plenty of great art from the late ’60s. The cars, clothes, interiors, the jokes, the actors, and of course the music, all make this one of my favorite movies.

The Pink Panther was released in 1963. I got this soundtrack only a few years ago. I’ve always loved Henry Mancini’s score and “The Pink Panther Theme” has to be one of the swingingest jams ever. You probably have heard so much that you don’t even pay attention to it now. But you should. It’s a tiny music masterpiece, full of perfect punctuations as it steadily builds the layers of orchestration, and then sneaks off into the distance, but ends with one last exclamation point. Tears the roof off in less than three minutes!

• Artist: New Order
• Title: Shellshock
• Year: 1986
• Format: Vinyl 12 in.
• Rating (1-10): 7
• Owner: Mary
• Acquired: 1987? – Plan 9

We seem to have an endless supply of 12 inches. Almost all of them are Mary’s; she’s quite the completist collector. Here is another piece of pop art from New Order. This version of “Shellshock” is almost 10 minutes long. “Original version appears on the original picture soundtrack Pretty in Pink” is printed on the typically minimalist back cover. The flip side has an instrumental version of “Thieves Like Us.” Why do we keep these things? Is my wife leading a secret second life as a DJ for ’80s dance parties?

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Jerry Van Rooyen -- At 250 Miles Per Hour

• Artist: Jerry Van Rooyen
• Title: At 250 Miles Per Hour
• Year: 1996?
• Format: Vinyl 12 in.
• Rating (1-10): 8
• Owner: Tracy
• Acquired: Amazon? – 1998
• Keeper: Yes

At 250 Miles Per Hour was put out by a German label with a seriously painful name, Crippled Dick Hot Wax. Jerry Van Rooyen had a habit of writing original scores for strange late ’60s movies that were either horror or soft porn, and sometimes both. Maybe even weirder than that is the fact that this sub-sub-genre of swinging music has a solid cult following.

How did I hear about it? No, mom, I wasn’t watching “The Castle of Bloody Lust” when Mr. Van Rooyen’s grooving jazz caught my attention. It was a comedy from 1998 that featured William Shatner called Free Enterprise. The producers, wisely, chose to re-use Rooyen’s kicking number “The Great Train Robbery” to open the movie. I recommend the movie and the tunes. I play this CD all the time, all the time.

My favorite song is the exquisitely short “Fabienne Is Going Wild.” It’s barely over one minute and it’s the best strip music I’ve ever heard. If it were any longer people’s clothes would start flying. Check out the clips.